Sunday, 3 July 2016

Yes I'm Still Fat

Soooooooooo, I'm still fat. Or chubby. I set some goals way back, I actually can't even remember when. Well after glancing at my rather embarrassing post where I showcase my love handles and modest breasticles, I can see that I in fact set out to lose weight/tone up in November. Quite honestly I have stayed the same weight, BMI, waist size and even cup size, although they feel a bit fuller so I might go for a refit and get something racey to celebrate. Its weird because my head even looks bigger, and not in an 'I think sooooo much of myself' big head. I mean it really looks like the volume and the circumference of my head has increased. I don't know why but I'm pretty sure that's not supposed to happen.

Its been an eventful 6 or so months since I 'pledged' to live a healthier lifestyle with the intention of losing weight to be more comfortable in my own skin. I have found, however, that such a commitment was slightly out of my reach. Now there are many positives and negatives to take from this experience, of which I have more recently identified. For one, I 100% make much more carefully considered and thoughtful food choices. Instead of eating whatever I could, whenever I could, I now ensure I get my fruit and vegetables in me for the whole day. Another problem I had was portion control and overeating, and I can say safely that while its not combatted completely since I'm still a greedy chubby funster, I'm reducing my need for let's say multiple troughs of food for one meal. I also ensure that my heart health promoting porridge is taken every morning. From a diabetes perspective, I have also learnt from my experiences during breakfast that fruits combined with my breakfast porridge is a risky and unfavourable move. For one, without scales, it can be hard to judge the carbohydrate contents of a fruit, whether its blueberries or bananas. As well as this, I feel as though when I have fruit with my porridge, I see a sharp increase in my blood sugars just minutes after I've eaten. I believe that because fruits have a higher carbohydrate content being mainly sugar, that it shoots my blood glucose levels up before my insulin has a chance to oppose. Therefore, I avoid fruits in the morning and enjoy a urination reduced morning compared to that of when I have fruits and my sugars are elevated. That's an important lesson! Higher sugars can lead to muscle wastage and that won't help my toning situation at all! Well anyway, I'm always trying to take lessons from things and a great one, although insignificant to a lot of people is that I'm not as worried in the morning about my blood sugar spikes as much anymore. What will happen when I don't have porridge in the morning is another question.

The major negative is that I don't have washboard abs, nor can I do a pull up. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin or seeing my, almost flapping, torso bellow over my trouser waist. Its strange because while my torso seems to take on most of the calories, my arms and legs appear to be relatively thin. Potentially down to muscle wastage and poor dieting, but a strange look especially in the mirror after a shower. Its difficult to justify trying to look ultra healthy in an age where people are frowning upon these unrealistic bodies, which are often airbrushed when published. Its also now a world where people tell you to accept yourself for yourself, which is good to a degree, but not to where you're sacrificing your health. I think however that while I'm not specifically looking for a god-like body just a less bulbous potatoe shape, It can't be a bad thing to look to constantly improve myself. Not only that, but it'll make my diabetes easier to control. I suppose if I get the body I'm looking for and I'm still not happy I'll have to stop being so superficial with myself. I'll probably end up realising that a single comment from Jack at school caused a spiral of inner doubt that I still carry to this day. I think its just because I look like a haired and brown skinned Mr Blobby but probably less creepy (you'll have to google him. Just for the record, whichever producer/contributor created this weirdo, they must see with hindsight the sheer nightmare inducing terror of this character. Although geared to children, I can't think of anything more frightening).

Me and Mr Blobby
Can you tell the difference?? (I have the glasses)


Still, onwards with the grind of achieving a respectable looking and feeling body.

If you feel like it, you can comment and stuff like that. Pretty please.

Bye bye.

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